The Memory Burns
by Drea Jackman
Summary: “It had been months and still the memory burned as fresh as the day it had been forged.” Max relives the worst day of her life... the day she lost Alec. (M/A)


TITLE: The Memory Burns  
  
WRITTEN BY: Drea Jackman  
  
EMAIL: DreaJackman@hotmail.com  
  
WEBSITE: Blue Genes - http://DreaJackman.cjb.net/  
  
RATING: PG  
  
SUMMARY: "It had been months and still the memory burned as fresh as the day it had been forged." Max relives the worst day of her life... the day she lost Alec. (M/A)  
  
DISCLAIMER: All Dark Angel characters belong to James Cameron and Charles Eglee (Cameron Eglee Productions) and Dark Angel itself belongs to FOX...it's just not fair is it? *Sob*  
  
ARCHIVE: If I've said yes before I'll say it again, otherwise email me 'n' lemme know.  
  
FEEDBACK: Don't make me beg, please? ...D'OH!  
  
A/N: Based on a 5-minute fic challenge (the words 'the memory burns') sent through a mailing list, I gave it a go... then decided NOT to stop after 5 minutes! Don't know if it's really any good, but it made me feel weepy, but then again that's maybe cause I'd just got done getting all teary over an emotional ep of TWW. Feedback is greatly appreciated and MUCH THANKS to SGM for the title prompt.  
  
  
  
The Memory Burns  
  
  
  
The view from atop the Seattle Space Needle was dreary, rain washed down over the old, tarnished surface and ran off in waves toward the darkened streets below. He was still out there, hunting her and her kind down like they were no better than animals. Almost everyone she cared about had fallen victim to his constant pursuit and she hated having to remember every single face of her fallen family.  
  
Tears welled up in Max's eyes and she stared off into the storm approaching fast on the horizon. It only seemed like yesterday, she'd finally realised that arguing wasn't all Alec was good for and the strong feelings she'd had for him weren't within the realms of hate at all. In fact it was quite the contrary and Alec had been only too keen to make sure she knew it as well as he did. If she could have stopped the memories and left them at that happy point she'd gladly have done it. But she couldn't.  
  
Memories continued to flow over her just as the down-pouring rain. More tears spilled over and cascaded down her cheeks as she remembered the events of only a few months ago. It was like a living nightmare as she saw Alec's face, felt his body in her arms and the sinking, helpless feeling that came with knowing she'd been too late.  
  
* * *  
  
Max watched as the others ran off in pursuit of White and the others, leaving her and Joshua to tend to one of their own, fallen. Alec lay in a semi-conscious state in the street where his final confrontation with White and his Familiars had led to his being shot. The storm overhead raged on and the rain created deep and murky puddles in the surrounding street, but they weren't baron of life. The deep stain of red pooled deeply in them, flowing from the huddled form lying motionless on the cold concrete.  
  
"Alec!"  
  
Max fell to her knees beside him and didn't hesitate in covering the wounds in his right, upper chest and side. He'd been there a while, that much she could be certain of.  
  
* * *  
  
Why did he have to go after them alone? They'd all known there'd be a unit passing through that sector and that White had been planning an attack, but why had Alec felt the need to try and handle it alone? Partially she blamed herself for always being so hard on him, never giving him any credit. He'd always denied it when she asked if he'd really made his peace with how she had once treated him. Even after finally getting over their differences and realising how they truly felt about each other, Max had always hated herself for how she'd treated him. No one deserved to be made to feel like that, least of all the man she loved so dearly.  
  
* * *  
  
"Alec!" she called again, more gentle this time as she watched his eyelids flutter.  
  
Joshua stood by in silence, watching the exchange between his two best friends and praying quietly that it wouldn't happen like this, not to them. They meant more to him than anything else in the world and he knew only too well just how much it hurt to lose the one you love.  
  
"Max?" Alec finally managed, his breathing shallow and his voice low.  
  
"Alec! Yeah, I'm here," she gasped pulling him as close as she could, setting him to rest in her lap as she wrapped her arms around him, drawing him protectively close.  
  
"Max, I'm so sorry."  
  
"No, there's nothing to be sorry about."  
  
"It's all my fault, it's always been my fault," he gasped again, fighting for breath.  
  
"No it isn't!" Max cut him off, tears now flowing freely from her stinging eyes. "You hear me? This isn't your fault."  
  
Alec was silent, drawing in a long, slow breath through his nose as he swallowed the rising lump in his throat. He hated seeing her like that. She was hurting because of him. He'd made her cry and it pained him more than the thought of having screwed up again. He couldn't get enough air to respond, tell her what he wanted to say. As he watched her weeping over him he felt as if her tears, her pain, were suffocating him.  
  
"Alec? I love you, y'know that right?" she asked, suddenly feeling the urgency of the situation and hating having to acknowledge it at the same time. She couldn't bear it.  
  
An extremely light sob managed to escape Alec's lips as he fought to inhale another sharp breath and his hands gripped at hers at tightly as he could with fleeting strength. He hadn't had long enough with her. The woman he'd been assigned to as a breeding partner, as impersonal and impassionate as the title sounded, the woman who'd literally given him the world when she set him free and the woman who'd given him her heart when he'd finally dared to offer his own. It just wasn't enough time.  
  
"I love you."  
  
The whisper was soft and gentle as Max alone managed to hear the words flowing from his lips. She bit back another sob unsuccessfully as she felt her heart tearing in two. Alec's features became serene as he stared back up at her, his eyes drinking in her beautiful features one last time. Where ever fate had mapped out for him next, if there was anything beyond the life that had given him Max, he'd take the memory of everything about her with him.  
  
Silently tears bled from his eyes as Max leaned down and kissed him gently one last time. She pulled him all the way into her arms and buried her face in his now drenched hair. Then she brushed away the tears with the pad of her thumb and continued to stroke his cheek soothingly as she rocked them back and forth slowly, giving no more thought to the storm or the cold and darkened street.  
  
A while later Max felt a firm, reassuring grip settle on her shoulders, but she didn't move. She was afraid to. Scared because the second she moved it'd all be real again. Alec was still in her arms, but he wasn't really there anymore and if she turned to Joshua now she'd be beginning the first minute of a life without him. The grip tightened and silently she felt Joshua's arms surround her.  
  
When she finally turned to him, she could see that somewhere behind the curtain of his long, brown hair, his eyes were red and his cheeks wet. With a sob of her own she reached out for him and felt him holding her possessively tight. After conveying support and reassurance, Joshua stood and Max followed suit, picking up Alec's body as she went. Carrying her lover's weight easily thanks to their common heritage, Max and Joshua headed for the sanctuary of home.  
  
* * *  
  
Taking a deep breath Max quickly brushed the tears from her eyes and stood up. It had been months and still the memory burned as fresh as the day it had been forged. But he was still out there, trying to hunt them down, trying to find her. He wouldn't succeed. Max had promised herself the day Alec died that White or any of his Familiars would never have the chance to hurt anyone she cared about ever again.  
  
Silently she brushed herself off, drew her collar up around her neck with a slight shiver and made her way down off the Space Needle without looking back.  
  
  
  
End 


End file.
